Why Founders Should Stop Asking for Employee Loyalty (And What To Ask For Instead)

In the right context, loyalty is a beautiful thing. I deeply value loyalty when it comes to friendships, family, community, and the long-term relationships that help us become better humans. But in recent years, I’ve grown increasingly wary of the word when it shows up in conversations about teams, culture, and company building. There’s an important distinction here.

I believe great companies are built by people who care about one another, who are committed to doing meaningful work, and who take responsibility for their part in making the vision a reality. I’ve seen teams, including my own, hold together through hard seasons, hard calls, and hard conversations because they shared something real. But I don't think loyalty is the right word for what’s happening there.

I was recently reading a piece in Fast Company about AI and the future of teamwork. I found myself agreeing with the heart of it: As AI takes on more of the analytical and operational work, the human side of work matters even more. That means more meaning, more connection, and more room for people to do the kind of work only humans can do.

Then I hit a line about how doing meaningful work increases loyalty to your team and company. That’s where I found myself pushing back. I understood what the writer was reaching for, but the word felt off.

Most leaders mean something good when they use the word loyalty. They’re usually talking about trust, care, shared commitment, and a willingness to stick it out when things get hard. The issue I have is that loyalty tends to carry a sense of obligation, and obligation rarely brings out a person’s best judgment, energy, or ownership.

What we really need in our companies isn’t loyalty. It’s a culture where care, commitment, and earned belonging are renewed by choice. Let’s explore what that looks like.

Why Employee Loyalty Is the Wrong Goal

I understand why founders want loyal people. When you’re building something from the ground up, you want to know who’s really with you. You want people who believe in the vision, who stay engaged when the work gets hard, and who care about what you’re building, not just what they’re assigned to do.

Company building feels personal because it is. You’ve put your name, your energy, your reputation, and your future into the company you're creating. So when someone stays through the hard parts, it’s natural to value that deeply.

But here’s where I’d be careful. Inside a company, loyalty can start to sound like, “Stay because you should.” It can make leaving feel like betrayal. It can make disagreement feel personal. It can make a team member hold back from saying the thing you need to hear most. And you can’t afford any of that, especially as your company grows.

In a company of 10, you may be close enough to sense when something's off. But as your team expands to 30, 50, or even 150 people, you can no longer see every concern, risk, gap, or issue. That’s why you need people who care enough to tell you what they’re seeing, even when it would be easier to stay agreeable. 

A team member who’s loyal might stay too long in a role that no longer fits. They may avoid speaking up in a meeting because they don’t want to create tension. They might defend a strategy they don't truly believe in because changing course feels like turning against the people who built it. But that’s not how great companies run.

Great companies are run by people who are committed to the work and clear about the standard. People who not only bring their best effort, but also their best judgment. People who understand that caring about the company means being honest when something needs to change.

Build Teams Around Care, Not Compliance

So what’s a better word than loyalty? I’d start with care.

Real care is active and honest. It doesn’t avoid hard conversations. It makes them possible by saying, “I want you to succeed, and I’m willing to be open with you because I value you and the work we’re doing together.”

A person can care deeply and still disagree with you, challenge a plan, or decide the company is no longer the right place for them. That’s what makes care stronger than loyalty. Loyalty asks people to remain attached, but care asks people to remain responsible.

In a growing company, care shows up in very practical ways. It shows up when a leader gives direct feedback before a small issue becomes a bigger one. When a manager helps someone find the right Seat instead of hoping the fit improves on its own. When a team member calls out what’s getting in the way instead of pretending everything is fine.

Care turns into better work when people know what success looks like, where the company is headed, and how their contribution matters. Without that shared understanding, care can become a feeling people have but don’t know how to act on. They may want to help, but if the way forward is unclear, good intentions don’t always turn into better work.

That’s why care and clarity belong together. Care gives people a reason to engage. Clarity gives them a way to contribute. When the two work together, people don’t need to be held in place by loyalty. They can choose the work, bring their best judgment to it, and take responsibility for making it better.

That’s the kind of care great companies need. Not compliance or obligation. Care that tells the truth, protects the standard, and helps everyone do better work together.

Commitment Is A Choice

Care is important, but by itself, it isn’t enough. You also need commitment.

Real commitment is a choice. And in a healthy company, it’s a choice people keep making. It isn’t something you earn just because someone has been around for a while.

That’s an important shift in thinking. The old career arc (the one where someone stayed with the same company for 40 years, moved steadily up the ladder, and retired with a nice watch) has been gone for a long time. In today's world, people don’t commit to a company once and then stop thinking about it. They keep asking, “Is this work still worth doing? Am I still able to contribute? Do I still believe in where we’re headed?”

We should want people who ask those questions honestly. Commitment shouldn’t mean, “I’ll stay no matter what.” That may sound noble, but it’s not how strong companies function. Commitment should mean: “I’m here. I understand what we’re building. I’ll give this work my best, and when something no longer fits, I’ll say so.”

That kind of commitment is both humane and reflects a high standard. It doesn’t ask people to ignore reality. It asks them to engage with reality. As founders, we should want people who commit with their eyes open because those are the people most likely to bring their best judgment to the work.

Great leaders don't want people who stay out of obligation. They want people who keep choosing to stay because the work is meaningful, clear, and worthy of their effort.

Leave the jersey in a better place.

New Zealand All Blacks

How to Create a Culture of Earned Belonging

Loyalty can make belonging feel automatic for the people who have been around the longest or who have stayed the closest. But great companies need a better standard than history or proximity.

I’m an old rugby player and a huge fan of the New Zealand All Blacks. They’ve always understood something important about culture: You don’t own the jersey. You’re trusted with it. You sweep the sheds, you leave the jersey better than you found it, and you keep meeting the standard while it’s yours.

That’s not loyalty in the way we often think about it. But nobody owns their Seat forever. You’re entrusted with it, and you honor it by doing the work to the best of your ability. Belonging shouldn’t be based on tenure, politics, personality, or proximity to the founder. Belonging should be earned through contribution, character, alignment, and care for the whole. That requires us to set a standard, reinforce that standard, and keep improving the system that supports it.

So how do you build a culture where belonging is earned in a healthy way? Here’s where to start:

• Clarify your company's standard: People can’t earn belonging if leadership hasn’t clarified the vision, Core Values, roles, and responsibilities. The standard needs to be concrete enough that people can choose it, meet it, and help improve it.

• Stop giving tenure extra weight: It’s natural to feel deep appreciation for the people who were there early or who stayed through hard seasons. You should honor that. But tenure can’t become a shield against the standard. The people who have been around the longest should be the clearest examples of what the company needs now, not permanent exceptions to it.

• Teach people what “great” looks like: Belonging is hard to earn when everyone is guessing. Founders need to be explicit about the quality of work they expect, how decisions get made, and which behaviors don’t belong. If those things live in the founder’s head, people will make their own assumptions.

• Don’t be afraid to make a hard call: A healthy culture doesn’t require instant judgment, but it does require a founder who won’t ignore repeated patterns. If someone keeps missing the standard, avoiding accountability, or pulling the team away from the work, deal with it. Earned belonging loses meaning when everyone can see an issue and leadership keeps working around it.

• Build clean exits into the culture: This may be the most important one. If leaving is treated like betrayal, then belonging was never really earned. It was enforced. A great company should be able to say, “This was meaningful. We’re grateful. And this is no longer the right fit.” That protects the relationship and the standard.

Building a culture with intention is one of our most important responsibilities as founders. The standards you repeat become the standards people learn. You want your people to understand that being part of the company isn’t about staying close, staying forever, or staying agreeable. It’s about contributing to something worth building and meeting the standard while they're trusted with the work.

Build a Company Worth Choosing

Every founder wants people who will stay through the hard parts. But people shouldn’t stay just because the company has claimed their allegiance. They should stay because the vision is clear, the work is meaningful, the leadership is honest, and the system keeps getting better.

That’s a high bar for founders, which is good. It means we can’t hide from the leadership questions underneath someone’s decision to leave. We have to stop and ask: Were the roles and responsibilities of the Seat clear enough? Were they being led well? Did they understand what success looks like? Did they have a real path to contribute?

The work of building a healthy company takes patience. It takes clear language, strong systems, and leaders who are willing to keep working on the business, not just in it, as the company grows.

When we ask for loyalty, our people may hear obligation. But when we ask for care, commitment, and earned belonging, we raise the standard. And that's how you build a company great people will keep choosing, over and over again.