Ask, Suggest, or Direct: How to Communicate with Intention

We like to believe communication comes down to clarity. And early on, that’s mostly true. We’re moving fast, wearing a dozen hats, and the only thing that matters is keeping the wheels on.

But as your organization grows, speed gives way to something more complicated: scale. And when you start to scale, communication has to change. Why? Because you’re not just sharing information anymore. Now, you’re impacting how the entire organization thinks.

As our companies grow, every time we speak — whether it’s in a 1-on-1, a strategy meeting, or a Slack thread — our words carry more weight than they used to. A question prompts more analysis. A suggestion shifts priorities. And when we give direction, it becomes the new plan. So the real challenge isn’t how to be clear. It’s how to be more deliberate in how we communicate.

The most effective founders are the ones who learn to be intentional with that weight. They don’t just communicate. They choose, moment by moment, whether to ask, suggest, or direct. Let's talk about what that means. 

Ask: Expand Thinking

Asking good questions is one of the most underutilized founder tools. It’s how we help our teams build better and better judgment. It’s how we challenge assumptions without supplying the answers. And it’s how we stop ourselves from becoming the bottleneck as our organization scales.

The most effective questions aren’t rhetorical. They’re open-ended and intentionally framed to deepen understanding, not just extract information. Think: “What are we really solving for?” or “What would have to be true for this to work?” (I love leveraging the latter when helping people or teams to think bigger.)

The goal isn’t to trap someone or lead them to your preferred answer. It’s to build a culture of independent thinking, where people feel ownership of the answer because they’ve done the work to reach clarity themselves.

Used well, questions create agency. But be careful not to overuse questions because that can lead to confusion or frustration. Like most things at scale, the key is finding balance.

Suggest: Introduce Perspective

Suggestions sit in the middle: You're not quite asking, not quite directing. They offer perspective without pulling ownership away. At their best, they bring context and pattern recognition. But if you're not intentional, they can sound like directives, especially when they come from the founder.

That’s the tricky part. We might intend a suggestion simply as input or another idea to put on the table. But unless we frame it clearly, others may treat it as the decision. That’s how teams unintentionally narrow their options. Suddenly they're trying to match your thinking when what you actually wanted was to expand their thinking and push ideas further.

When making suggestions, it's important to be clear about what you’re offering. You might say, “This is just one option. Feel free to toss it,” or “Here’s something I’ve seen work, but curious if that applies here.” You’re not trying to steer the outcome. You’re offering perspective and inviting others to build on it, not default to it.

Suggestions have the power to accelerate thinking. They give people a place to start. But over time, they can create a culture where everyone waits to hear what you think before they move. The goal is to share perspective in a way that sharpens others’ thinking instead of slowing it down.

Direct: Take Action

Direction is the strongest move we can make, but it's also the easiest to lean on too often. It eliminates ambiguity, aligns the team, and gets things moving. But when it becomes your go-to, it teaches people to wait instead of think.

There are times when direction is exactly what’s needed: when the stakes are high, the deadline is close, and action has to happen now. That’s when stepping in helps the whole system move faster. Not because you don’t trust the team, but because alignment matters more than exploration in the moment.

Here's the risk: Every time you give direction, you take a bit of ownership away from the team. If it happens too often, even your best people start looking to you before they make a move.

So when you choose to direct, be clear, be decisive, and own the call. But use it with care and caution, not out of habit. You want to create clarity, not dependency.

How to Make the Right Move

Most founders don’t struggle with what to say. They struggle with using the wrong kind of move for the moment. They ask when they should direct. They suggest when they should ask. They direct when all the team needed was perspective. It all comes down to judgment.

Making the right move starts with reading the moment and then matching your approach to what the team actually needs. Here’s a simple diagnostic to help you and your Senior Leadership Team decide whether to ask, suggest, or direct:

Ask when:

• The problem isn’t fully understood.

• You want to build the team’s judgment.

• The goal is learning, not speed.

Before asking a question, it's helpful to assess your own questions. Are you genuinely curious or trying to lead them somewhere? Will the question deepen their thinking or just confuse the issue?

Suggest when:

• The team has options, but experience could help shape the path.

• You want to share a pattern without owning the outcome.

• The decision and execution belong to the team.

Before making a suggestion, ask yourself: Have I made it clear this is input, not instruction? Will they feel free and safe to challenge it?

Direct when:

• Speed, clarity, or alignment are critical.

• The decision is already made and needs to be executed.

• The team knows what to do, they just need the call.

Before giving direction, pause to check your intent. Are you stepping in because it’s truly needed or because it’s faster? If you stepped back, would the team actually stall?

Think about your defaults. Which move do you rely on most? Which one do you tend to avoid? What kind of culture is that creating? The more honest you are about your patterns, the more impactful you can be in the moments that matter. That’s how founders stop being the bottleneck and start building teams that think for themselves.

Choosing What Scales

Scaling as a founder isn’t just about setting direction. It’s about shaping how your team thinks, decides, and leads, especially when you’re not in the room. It's a culture where input isn’t mistaken for a decision, and direction is rare, trusted, and used with precision. That’s what separates a truly great company from one that's dependent on its founder. 

Because over time, your influence compounds. Every ask, suggestion, and directive leaves a mark. The question is whether that mark builds dependency or competence.

Choose the move that builds a high-performing team. Not just for today’s decision, but for the kind of company that leaves a legacy.